Why we have to stop thinking negatively of ourselves and our achievements

Why we have to stop thinking negatively of ourselves and our achievements

Hey gang!

How’s it going? Hope you’re all well, chipper and geared up to face the day n’that?

I just wanted to do a little post about something that has cropped up on Twitter A LOT recently.

I see all these wonderful, talented, inspiring, hard working young women (say 20 -25 age bracket) constantly putting themselves down and panicking because they’re turning 23/ 24/ 25 etc and still feel like they’ve not accomplished anything yet? Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it! I guess I was lucky when I was in my 20’s as there was no Instagram, Facebook didn’t arrive until I was almost 23 (and I didn’t start using it until I was about 27?), Snapchat? Nope.

What I’m trying to say is that growing up as a digital native must be tough, right? Especially in the blogging community where young women make themselves feel inadequate as they compare themselves to other people of their age and other’s achievements/ highlight reels. Don’t get me wrong though, when I was in my early 20’s I had my own struggles.

Where was I at 23 – 25

  • Just finished my undergrad at the University of Gloucestershire (barley, but I did it!)
  • Moved back in with my parents to the Isle of Wight (mmm, sweet, sweet, seclusion). totally not ungrateful for this, my parents are wonderful and very supportive of me. Thank you, Ma and Robin x
  • Had a good(ish) job which was actually relevant to my degree and was made redundant after 9 months and had to teach 9 people to do my job before I left. Sure, pal, let me teach you After Effects and Illustrator which I studied for 3 years and have a student loan hanging over my head for. Nice
  • Many job centre visits to find a job. Jobless for about 6 weeks
  • Got back together with an ex, moved in together in Southsea (we were together for almost 5 years, he’s still a peach and I was young with a bucket full of issues)
  • Worked in a call centre where women would scream down the phone at me on the reg
  • Drank too much
  • Was extremely insecure in my looks
  • Never felt like I was good enough for anything

Where I’m at now

  • 36 (37 this year) and feeling fooking fabulous
  • In a decent job in web & communications (though if LUSH Digital want to hire me, y’know, I’m cool with that)
  • Studying MA in Digital Marketing , which is much more rewarding when you actually know what you want to do and can really enjoy studying rather than panic writing the night before and living off of coffee and your hopes and dreams (I don’t miss my undergrad)
  • Just buying my first house! AWWWOOOGGGAAAHHH!
  • Have the most amazing bunch of women folk around me that I’ve ever had. Badass b**tches
  • Go to the gym on the reg (not being braggy). I don’t have the best bod in the world, but I do it for ME and my overall well-being which suits me just fine
  • Single and happy about it. I don’t need anybody to “complete me” or any of that rubbish. I’m complete as myself, thank you very much. Also, I have discovered that most men are complete nobbers (and tend to just think with said nob).
  • Cat Whisperer (that’s not a real thing, just the vibes I’m feeling right now)

Why this post?

Well, It’s a bit all over the shop and a bit of waffle, but really what I’m trying to say to the younger generation of females out there in their early to mid-20’s is that “It’s going to be OK”. Don’t worry about what you haven’t achieved (yet), don’t compare yourselves to what others are doing. Be you. Be authentic. Set yourself some realistic goals if that helps for the bigger picture side of things, but cripes, you got out of bed this morning and went and did something (work/ study/ saw friends/ insert whatever you did here). Some people struggle to even do that. In hindsight I thought I’d have it all figured out in my 20’s, but I’m only just figuring stuff out now and still get things wrong. You know what? that’s just life and it’s OK.

Overall message: be kinder to yourselves. Don’t panic over age as you get to your mid-30’s it’s like “Yup, it (age) really is just a number because in my head I’m still a sassy 28 year old”. If you’re lucky enough to have grandparents still around (and you have a good relationship with them) why not ask them what their 20’s were like? Or even ask your parents? It’s interesting to hear what others went through at your age and put life into perspective.


Thinking of you,

Alanna xo




Photograph by Billie Rae Photography

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